Single And Christian

I was 30 years old when I accepted Jesus as my Savior. With that decision came the desire to change my life as I was weary of the relentless dating and the non-committal relationships. The reality of the situation was that I wanted to be married. Period. I was ready – or so I thought – and I sat down to wait for what I reasoned would be a relatively short process. I just knew that all I had to do was to pray and God would bless me with Mr. Right in an instantaneous manner.

That was in March 1984 and I was married in November 2001 at the age of 48. Clearly the fulfillment of my prayer was not immediate and initially I was unable to fathom what caused the delay.

In the early days of my walk with God, I was under the mistaken assumption that other Christians, particularly those who were married, would render emotional support. That, however, was not the case as I oftentimes heard the worn out refrain “How do you know that the Lord wants you to be married?” One particular person said “Why would you want to bother Him with that? Don’t you realize that the world is going to end soon?” And on and on they droned. Obviously discouragement set in but it was through those experiences that I learned the wisdom of restraint. Not everyone can nor should be afforded the privilege to know the longings of your soul or the Savior’s plan for your life.

There are a multitude of books on the Christian market that deal with single hood and the prospect of marriage for those who wish to meet their mate. Thankfully some of the advice was based on common sense such as the maintenance of personal hygiene, a change of style, and freedom from debt. That was all well and good. Others authors suggested a closet full of new lingerie, flowers about the house, and a place setting at my dining room table for my soon to be beloved. Though I speculated that the goal of those persons was to bring hope and healing on a sensitive issue, admittedly I regarded their pointers as fantasy counsel.

As one who waited over 17 years for the fulfillment of God’s promise, I will readily attest to the fact that there is no set formula nor does the Lord necessarily adhere to popular strategies such as “10 Ways To Meet Your Mate.” What ultimately brought my desire to pass was my decision to trust my Savior with every facet of my life. Psalm 37:4 states “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I also sought to be holy and to live in a manner which exemplified His Word. He had already freed me from the enslavement of sexual sin and I had no wish to return to that which displeased Him.

In the summer of 1993 – six years before I met my husband – another single friend and myself comprised a list of the qualities that we expected from our future mates. One which I held onto for a long while focused on my mandate for a professional man. I had no inclination at all to consider anyone with less education and a lower social ranking than mine.

I had noticed my husband at church and spoke to him for the first time on May 9, 1999. I was affected by his conversation for it was more than apparent that he was indeed a Godly man. Dismay set in when I subsequently learned of his non-college status and work position. As I mulled over this one morning, I distinctly heard the Lord say to me “You may have more education than Austin but he is way ahead of you in character.” I repented before God and embraced Austin’s friendship which led to a relationship and then marriage on November 3, 2001.

To say that God is faithful is not a cliche. When we prioritize His presence and commit to His Word, we can expect a fulfillment of His covenant blessings.

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